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Monday, May 16 2:41 AM I am a bad person. I plead to God for forgiveness, before falling all over into the same pitfalls that bring me down over and over again I repeatedly ask myself if it could had been better if I had not did this did that did whatever but sometimes the paranoia and nervousness just engulfs me to this pitiful, weak state with a mentality of a 5 year old boy everytime i tell myself yeah this is serious i wont do it again is when it hits the hardest and everytime it causes me to sin over and over again it feels worse right after it ends there is no excitement in it at all yet my flesh cannot help but crave for this temporal gain it is all but an escape from my supposed escape can't you see it? when an escape exit is closed i turn to the other exit where in turn althought i get out of the room, the exit leads me to the first exit where the first exit is now a flaming sword that cuts my heart into pieces and it cuts just where it hurts the most i am so confused and lost yet amidst this chaos there is even more chaos and there is too much on my plate for me to even nibble out of it someone is pushing my face onto the whole plate and mushing my face onto the bottom i am at the point where another step takes me into a flying fuck down a thousand feet into nothingness in my desperation god surely you must save me do not leave me now my father for i am dirty and desperate for a shower i know i do not deserve but in your great mercy please pour out someone to save me from all the mess that surrounds me this is a whirlpool of self discouragement where i hate myself uncontrollably for being incontrollable why is it that one can become a puppet to whom who controls it seemingly dependent on my actions or am i thinking too much into things but i think auto karma exists somewhere ? or does it not or am i paranoid but my repeat observations prove me right as i fall again and again and again and again and again why do i seem incorrigible F U C K i cannot bear myself anymore i need to escape from all this shit to a land far far away there is too much pain for my soul to bear where is this cup which i can remove where is the wickedness i can remove for i bring upon myself nothing but trouble time and time again after i know it will happen this is insanity in its finest display i think i should be in a mental hospital or something yet i am dying day by day rotting myself away and sadly only few observe and notice yet for those who have i greatly thank you for you have been with me this while and there is nothing i can do but thank you all over and over and over again while i fade into nothingness oh my spirit is down jesus i need you do not give up on me
| H o m e S e a r c h LABELS a r t m e n w o m e n f i l m m o n d a y s s c a n s b l a c k s i g n s PEOPLE d i o n b a n k s y d a u d f a n n y g a b i h e l m i k w a j e t m a r c u s o b e y a p p a r e l l o o p s a m a n t h a a u d r e y v a r u n a i s h a h a z r i s i u f a n g r y a n m e m o r i a m
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